Hi there! My name is Cara Lee Rast, and I am an Integrated Sex, Love, Relationship Coach. I am so happy you are here and wanting to know a little bit more about me, my journey, and my mission! In 2016 I started to study sexuality and relationship psychology, largely due to the fact that I was in need of some answers to my own dilemmas.
So, in my case, this started out as “Me-search research” which led me to a 600+ hour certification program in 2017, which I now have well over 1100+ hours invested. I received this certification from the Tantric Institute of Integrated Sexuality (TIIS), directed by one of the worlds most influential and highly regarded Sexuality Teachers alive today, and founder of the Sexy Revolution - Layla Martin.
For you see I was actively on the path of self-love & feeling confident in my body, and figuring out who I was. I discovered that eating better, exercising, ditching toxic relationships, and doing things that I loved helped me to love myself more, and feel better in my body… but...
But I was still experiencing feelings of unworthiness, I had self deprecating thoughts, and feelings of jealousy and insecurity plagued me in my relationship. I was constantly waiting for ‘the other shoe to drop’, to see the man and relationship I cherished disappear and disappoint me. Which I can clearly see now was tied to the abandonment trauma I had from 3 friends and 1 cousin committing suicide before I was 24 years old.
You see we receive 'heart shocks' to the nervous system from emotional pain, and if it is not allowed to heal, or integrate and release from our bodies, we are not allowing our nervous systems to come back to a state of calm & safety. This is why I felt like I didn’t measure up compared to other women, like I needed to look a certain way to be loved, why I felt like I was broken, and a feeling of true “Self Love” always managed to elude me. It was because I didn't feel safe, or trust the sensations in my own body, or feel that I would still be loved and belong if I expressed them. We don't encourage the expression of 'bad' emotions in our society. So I numbed out, and shut myself off. This was a pattern I now know to be shrouded in old childhood wounds, limiting belief systems, and a disconnected psyche, buried deep in my subconscious that became a coping mechanism to get me through life.
What my “me-search” brought me to understand, is that we all are perfect, whole and complete just the way we are. We are not broken. We do not need fixing. We do however need integration. We do need healing. And as Mr. Tony Robbins likes to say, "Life happens for us, not to us".
It was through my studies at the TIIS that I have found, and am so excited to share with you tools & techniques to work with our bodies, our minds, and our desires that can fuel you to live your best, most fulfilled life. I chose to work in the field of Sexuality as a Sex, Love, Relationship Coach because I was a living testimony that no matter how much self-love work I was doing to feel fulfilled, worthy, & like I had the ‘perfect’ relationship, was for nothing when I was not in line with my bodies truest impulses, my natural inclinations, and my authentic desires.
So, if getting in touch with desires are core to feeling alive and fully expressed, it only makes sense that we need to examine what does basic, core human desire, in a sensation-based body feel like? We also need to examine how our society treats sexuality, which is DESIRE at its core. I now find it so obvious that this was the missing piece of the puzzle for me, and for so many other Men and Women of today. I wasn’t in touch with my body, therefore I wasn't able to follow my instinct or inclination to live and have my truest desires in life. I wasn't able to escape that achy, empty hollow feeling because I was missing the link of my body & my sexuality due to all of the deep conditioning from our Corticol society, a religious upbringing in a small rural town, and the Patriarchy.
Which leads me to my deepest wish, strongest desire, and ultimate joy. I am a compassionate person at my core, and I yearn to help create a world of love and peace, of integrity and inclusion, belonging and safety. I want to help create a society, a culture, and a world where everyone is able to live their most authentic, pleasure filled life tapped into their life force energy, free of trauma. With enough people living their lives like that I believe we will see a ripple effect of radical changes across the globe, and all my nieces and nephews will inherit a sustainable world, filled with love.
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